Going "backwards" to move forward

Many of my blog entries will be about lessons that I am learning from my baby, Emily. Here’s one of them.
 
Right now, Emily is trying to crawl. She does many things to help her – lift her butt up, push her legs underneath her, move her arms forward – but instead of moving forward, she’s become very proficient at moving backwards.
 
She gets frustrated as she is not headed in the direction that she wishes. Though I want to step in and sometimes physically lift her to ease her frustration, I realize that part of her development is to try to move forward. As she’s moving backwards, she’s building the muscles to propel her forward on her own.
 
How often does that analogy apply to us? How often do we feel like we are moving backwards – and when we do, we get frustrated, want to give up, and don’t see any value in it? How often do we not see how sometimes – in seemingly moving backwards, we are actually building our muscles to enable us to later move forward more effectively.
 
Life does not always follow a linear path. We tend to try to measure our success or progress linearly – be it how far forward we have come (e.g., by how much money we have, what promotions we have received, or how many friends we have) – and do not value how we often need to grapple with something, seemingly move backwards, in order to be better equipped to propel ourselves forward once we have adequately built up our muscles.
 
Sometimes we give up, other times we wallow in our frustration / delve into self-pity. But let’s keep seeing the bigger picture in life – we are more than our progress along the linear pathway that we think should define us.
 
Let’s be like Emily – fighting to crawl forward each day, even if she’s going backwards right now. If she stopped trying – and just stayed put and gave up, she would never learn how to move forward. That’s a good lesson for all of us.

Achieve "Impossible" Feats

How much do our beliefs shape how far we progress?

I recently attended a Tony Robbins event in which he shared the story of Roger Bannister and the four-minute mile. Back in the day, many doctors and scientists believed that it was physically impossible for a human to run a mile in less than four minutes. While many tried, no one had achieved that feat.

In 1954, however, Roger Bannister achieved the seemingly impossible. He ran a mile in less than four minutes, with a time of 3:59.4.

Incredibly, after that, others were able to do so as well. Once Bannister ran the mile in under four minutes, others knew it was possible to do so and thus more easily did. This is an example of how something may seem impossible until someone does it. To quote Joel Runyon, “Once you stop believing something is impossible, it becomes possible.”

How often do we limit ourselves by believing that something is out of reach or impossible?

When have we decided not to throw our hat in the ring because we didn’t think we were good enough or qualified – essentially telling ourselves that it would be impossible for us to be chosen? While our “impossibles” are not about breaking world records, they are still incredibly significant and can affect the trajectory of our lives. What would happen if we took “impossible” out of our vocabulary and lived life believing that everything was at least possible?

Audrey Hepburn said, “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!”  

This is especially important for women to internalize.

According to various studies, women are far less likely to negotiate their salaries than men are. Linda Babcock, an economist at the Carnegie Mellon University, states that, “by not negotiating their job at the beginning of their career, [her graduate students are] leaving anywhere between $1 million and $1.5 million on the table in lost earnings over their lifetime.”

Think about that.

So I encourage you to reach for what you desire – stretch yourself further than you believed possible, even if you do not think you can obtain or achieve it, or loved ones tell you that you’re wasting your time.

Because something may seem impossible until someone does it – what if that someone is you?

Yesterday's Solar Eclipse

The Solar Eclipse


Yesterday, the moon passed between the Sun and Earth, resulting in a solar eclipse. Millions of people took time to observe and enjoy the moment. People came together - not based on being for or against something or in protest or solidarity - but to share in a moment, where we acknowledged the vastness of the Universe and world outside of ourselves. 

We all focused on one thing - and did not judge it as good or bad - but just observed it. That was beautiful - and I hope you join me in continuing to work to build that vibe on Earth. 

Many ask me, what is cosmic energy transmissions? Well, now you have all experienced it by being on Earth during the Solar Eclipse. Yesterday, tremendously powerful waves of energy came down to Earth. We are given a turbo-boost of energy to break through our mind-fucks, ego (with little e), and sh*t, to evolve and progress to a better version of ourselves. 

We all have things that we know are blocking our progress toward. It could be, to provide a few examples, the need to always be right, to be acknowledged as the smartest, prettiest, etc. (add any other kind of -est") in the room, etc. With this eclipse, you're provided with a moment to explore this within yourself - and state what you wish to release from you and your life. 

Here's how you can identify what you may want to work on. If someone pisses you off, even if they are admittedly really annoying, there is something in you that is triggered by them. They sometimes are very similar to you - though obviously in different shades and degrees, or the opposite. Regardless, they are there in your life to give you an opportunity to recognize more of yourself - what are your buttons / triggers? What gets your ego aroused? What makes you angry, pissed, frustrated, annoyed?

It's time to be honest with yourself - face the shadows within yourself, the ugly that you don't want to see - and give yourself an opportunity to just observe it, without judgment. Acknowledge it, accept it as part of you, and then become aware of when it surfaces. Lastly, allow yourself the potential to change / shift that out of your life. 

The Universe is funny as when you decide to change, it provides you many opportunities to do so (for good or bad). For example, my intention is to let go of my need to be right (I used to be a litigator and can see why many people don't like lawyers... =p). Of course, along came people who pushed my buttons. It was easy for me to label and judge them, to distance myself from the tension between us - but in doing so, I would miss an opportunity for growth within myself and to release karma, which is attachment to the struggles in which we still engage (which, in my case, includes my need to be right). 

We have a wonderful opportunity to shift out of our bullsh*t (for some of you, it may feel like a swamp of bullsh*t) and to create a new life for ourselves where we feel free, refreshed, and joyful. Let's allow this wonderful cosmic energy to help us shift out. But as we have free will, we need to do something as well to move our progress along. Even just one little step - such as acknowledgement, makes a big difference. Each journey becomes and continues one step at a time. Namaste.

Liberate your Happiness from your Goals

The other day, I realized that I have been living my life according to the following pattern:  

  • I set a goal for myself.
  • I convince myself that I will not be happy until I achieve this goal – essentially, to motivate myself, to help me push through when things get hard, and to convince myself that the sacrifices are all worth it.
  • Then, when I meet the goal, I feel happy temporarily and then set a new goal for which to aim.
  • I then repeat the pattern.

I sense that I am no longer following this pattern as much – making my happiness conditional on achieving specific goals – and it feels so new / odd to me. I am starting to feel content and happy regardless of my circumstances, and while I still feel like I have on training wheels with this outlook, I am learning to make it my new norm.

Stepping a bit more deeply into this realization, I remember moments in my life when I had worried so much about whether or not I would achieve a certain goal that when I finally had reached my goal, my main reaction was letting out a sigh of relief. I was so worked up that I did not even enjoy the moment.
 
Also, we don’t need to wait until we have “reached our goal” to celebrate ourselves and our progress. Often times, in fact, acknowledgement of our achievements and progress comes way after we have actually reached that level. For some reason, it sometimes takes a while for people to realize how amazingly awesome we are… don’t blame them nor wait to start the party until they get the picture. =)
 
One of those people who is not attuned into how cool you are is … you! I’m guilty of this too, for myself. I realize that I don’t need to wait until I become the next Deepak Chopra or have rock hard abs to feel happy + content with my life. I can choose happiness today – acknowledging my progress and motivating myself forward by focusing on the positive intentions of why I have chosen my specific goals, and lastly, in just loving and accepting myself as I am right now.
 
While it’s good to have goals for which to direct our intention and resources, I encourage all of us to be conscious of when we hold our happiness hostage to our goals. I promise you that you will have motivation without punishing yourself in the process. Choose the carrot rather than the stick. It hurts less, and you’ll go further as you won’t have to nurture your bruises during the journey. =) Namaste.

Hitting the Reset Button

Hitting the Reset Button

A few days ago, a complete stranger asked me a question about myself that felt very confrontational. The question essentially went along the lines of, "How are you even able to do / be [something cool] if you are [something not so cool]?"

My initial reaction was to answer her question, essentially to go along the path that she had set before me. 

But instead, I hit the reset button.
 
I gave myself permission to step back and evaluate the situation. In doing so, even for a second, I quickly shifted from feeling defensive to empowered. I no longer felt hostage to the agenda of the other person, who may not have my best interests in mind. 

I did not directly answer her question – as I chose not to accept her assumptions about me that were underlying her question. I did not accept HER take on ME and realized that her actions were about her (not me).
 
Of course, this is easier to see when the other person involved is a complete stranger. But it also applies to those close to us because everyone - included our nearest and dearest - has their own filters on their perception of the Universe, including how they view and interact with you. Thus, all of how they view you is based on their filter(s).
 
Given this, while some may mean well, I encourage you to hit the reset button when you feel uncomfortable or if someone is making assumptions or judgments about you that do not ring true or are not said in love.
 
Remember, you always have a choice in what you accept as valid or worthy of your attention and energy.
 
And, I know I say this often but it really helps when you accept that you’re absolutely beautiful, imperfectly perfect, and worthy of all the love that the Universe provides. Love is your birthright.
 
While you cannot control others nor force them to provide love to you all the time, you can choose to accept that love from yourself, namely driven by making conscious decisions to go towards love.

I felt incredibly love for myself when I chose to hit the reset button and then follow another path of conversation that challenged the assumptions in the initial question.

So remember that you have the option to hit the reset button. Feel empowered in shifting away from your automatic responses. Become empowered to question assumptions and stand up for yourself. Rock on, my love! =)

Spiritual Personal Training

Many of us feel that we have little control over how we react to certain situations or people. We may tell ourselves, “that’s how I always react, it’s part of my personality, I can’t change” or, on the flip side, “I’m a changed person after X happened, and now I’ve become this way and I can’t go back to who I was.” We also may think that if our reaction is a common response to that particular kind of situation, then it’s okay if we don’t feel in control.
 
But know this - you are capable of gaining greater control over your reactions and responses. 
 
Similar to how we train our physical bodies to become more flexible, stronger, and more resilient, we can train the mental, emotional, and spiritual parts of ourselves. For example, we can practice / exercise where we place our attention or how much weight we give to our mind-chatter. (Note, it helps if we view meditation more as a reminder that we have a choice in where we place our attention rather than as another situation in which to judge ourselves for not achieving the goal, in this case, having a completely clear mind).)
 
While training may not always be easy, know that you can do it. You can make a change. Don’t believe that voice in your head telling you that you can’t – that things are “stuck at suck.” That's NOT TRUE.
 
As you may not expect to be able to hold a plank pose all day long or to be able to do a split – ever - but still feel better after working out (i.e., you no longer feel completely out of breathe while running halfway around the block), remember that you may not become a Zen master or enlightened after meditating a few weeks and that’s fine. Even engaging in the mere act of exercising shifts the momentum from reactive to proactive. You will become more limber, resilient, and equipped to adapt to whatever comes your way.
 
It may feel a bit overwhelming to know where to start or to do it alone. That’s what has motivated me to offer the Luminary Program and its Foundation Course, where I can work with you 1-on-1, essentially as a spiritual personal trainer, to help you determine which spiritual practices and strategies work best for you and your life. I’m starting the Foundation Course in July 2017, so please email me @ info@serahwang.com if you’re interested in signing up. Click here for more details. 

Releasing the Need to Solve the Problem

Our society encourages us to be problem-solving machines. We spot issues / problems and then solve them, easy peasy. While at times that strategy is very useful, other times we may be trying to draw water from a dry well. I encourage you to use your intuition to decipher when to refrain from trying so hard to “solve” a problem.
 
Let’s face it, we want to be in control of our lives. Slapping a solution to a problem makes us feel powerful and in control. While it’s great that many of us feel empowered to address problems in our lives, know that the flipside of that concept is that we may feel overwhelmed, burdened, and stressed. In addition, we may feel powerless when we cannot find a good solution to our problems.
 
Know that we do not have access to all the available information and thus, when we force a solution for a problem, it may not be the most ideal. We limit our available solution set to that which is within our knowledge base rather than to the Universe’s unlimited well of information. In addition, if we strain to find a solution, we may even - perhaps subconsciously - distort things in order to have them fit our limited solution set.
 
What I am not encouraging is for you to stick your head in the sand for every problem you encounter. Rather, I am specifically addressing issues / problems that we want to solve but sense that there is no good solution available to us at the present moment. Be patient and open to letting that situation be, but you do not have to remain inactive. If you feel so-called, ask / pray for solutions, work on shifting your perspective to decrease the impact of a situation to yourself, and/or actively choose to take a break from problem solving, etc. Just be sure to follow your intuition on what is best for you in the present moment.
 
Essentially, you are not a failure if you do not solve every problem in your life. Rather, you are becoming wiser and allowing things to unfold in divine timing and possibilities. You are flowing with the Universe rather than resisting it. Namaste.

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Sometimes when we are so up close to a problem, it is hard to gain perspective and see the nuances. What I love doing is empowered you to gain additional perspective on a situation, so you can better gauge for yourself what is best for you and your life. This can be by providing a safe space for you to explore, asking you questions to help you delve in deeper to your psyche, and being a sounding board. If having this support resonates with you, please feel free to schedule a session with me by emailing me at sera@serahwang.com. Thanks! =)

Intentional Response

Lately, when I skim the news, I see so many things that foster hatred. One common reaction to this is the desire to crush those who encourage this hatred. While that’s a natural response, it’s important to center ourselves as:
 

No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” – Albert Einstein


Essentially, if we react to hatred by acting in kind, we are essentially increasing the same frequency that we wish to eliminate.
 
Rather, I encourage you to become a mastermind in setting your own terms on how you respond to a situation. Instead of allowing low levels of consciousness to trigger you and drag you down to that level, take a moment to re-center yourself and then deliberately choose a reaction befitting of what you desire to manifest in the world.
 
In choosing your response, set your intention for your actions, which in turn, sets the level of consciousness of your actions. Explore why you want to address a problem. Likely, at the heart of it, it is due to your love and compassion for yourself and others. Setting that as your intention (or level of consciousness) elevates your response to a higher level of consciousness, which is more likely to resolve the problem. (Note, you may even choose to take the same action in both scenarios –
i.e., with an immediate gut reaction v. via a deliberate response – but the seemingly same actions may carry different levels of consciousness depending on your intention.)
 
Essentially, Mahatma Gandhi’s quote, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world,” can also mean, you must set the intention to hold the same level of consciousness you wish to be present in the world.

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One way to raise your level of consciousness – especially to love and compassion, is to receive high levels of energy frequencies (or consciousness) via energy transmissions. These energy transmissions help us to connect with the higher levels of consciousness within us, so we can more easily respond at that level during our daily lives.
 
I provide a remote group energy transmission every Tuesday evening 7:00-7:20pm EST and Wednesday 8:00-8:20pm. First session is free. I also provide 1-on-1 energy transmissions.  If you are interested in either, please email me at sera@serahwang.com. Thanks! =)

Recalibration

We’re currently in a state of recalibration. Many of you have done much work in clearing and healing yourselves, and now you are at the next step of your journey, which is to recalibrate your center and develop a new foundation. As you have chipped away at and cleared past hurts, resentments, confusion, anger, etc., you are no longer the same person you were before. Therefore, now you have to adjust yourself ... to the new you.
 
Right now, it may feel disconcerting to many of you, as you may feel things more intensely and past issues are resurfacing. All this is to help with the recalibration process. In order to find your new norm or balance, you may go back and forth almost like a compass before settling into your new state of being. 
 
For example, I have worked on being assertive yet respectful and recently, have had various situations arise where I had to stand up for myself. A barrage of emotions related to my past hurts, of feeling shut down, berated, and rejected for standing up for myself, came to surface. While I felt overwhelmed, I also sensed that I am no longer the scared little girl who might get hit or berated for speaking up for myself. I sensed that all the work I had done was being utilized. In the various situations that arose, I spoke up for myself and felt good. I sensed that I was recalibrating so that as similar situations may arise, I am strengthening the connection with my new self rather than the remnants of my past hurts / pains. (My neural synapses were reorganizing.)
 
As humans, we may focus on the swings back and forth and feel frustrated, confused, and exhausted. We may feel like we are moving backwards, even though we have worked so hard to grow and evolve and stretch ourselves out of our comfort zone. But have faith and trust, knowing that all is good. You just may be readjusting or recalibrating yourself after much clearing. Hopefully, through this process, we will continue to recalibrate ourselves to our optimal state, in each present moment. That can be our new norm. =)
 

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My purpose in going into the spiritual field is to help you recalibrate and readjust as you heal, grow, and evolve. It may feel scary to go through this process alone, so I am here to provide a safe space for you to explore and grow. My primary passion, though, is to help facilitate your process of recalibration so that you can feel empowered to hone your own inner compass (i.e., intuition). If you wish to explore what may be going on in your life right now and want someone to help you gain perspective and understanding during the process, please let me know. I am here to provide support (sera@serahwang.com).

Accept rather than earn love

A common message arising during my Akashic readings is that we are all – including you - loved and worthy of love and acceptance. While that sounds fairly cheesy, it’s worth repeating as all of us fail to truly believe and accept that message.

We all have access to unconditional love but first must embrace the fact that we are worthy of this love. Contrary to what we may tell ourselves and/or hear from others, we do not need more money, more friends, a lover, a ‘better’ job, a ‘better’ body, or to do more, in order to be accepted and loved.
 
Yes, it’s great to choose the direction in which we wish to lead our lives – to aim higher, reach just beyond our grasp, push ourselves, lean in, etc., but getting to a certain goal or level does not make us worthy of a life of fulfillment. Our ‘doing’ and ‘having’ are not prerequisites to love and acceptance. Rather, the pathway to these beautiful gifts is recognizing that just ‘being’ you is sufficient.
 
This concept is so simple yet complex. Getting to this point of acceptance is a process but here are some signs that you are on the right track:
 
1. You focus on what brings you joy and happiness. 

You stop buying into the belief that you need something outside of yourself to unlock your joy and happiness, and in turn, you begin to connect more deeply with your intuition / Higher Self. You see that you have a choice to choose your own path, one that brings you great joy and happiness, even if it defies reason, expectations, or societal standards of success and happiness.

You are guided by your inner compass (i.e., your intuition), march to the beat of your own drum rather than to someone else’s, and feel liberated by this new way of life, even though you may feel a bit awkward in this new energy initially.
 
2.  What others say or do does not affect you.  

You begin to see that what others say or do does not reflect your worth or value, and in turn, their actions are about them – not about you. It becomes easier for you to heal from past hurts that you still carry with you, as rather than focusing on who is at fault or what you could have done differently, you can tap into the never-ending supply of love available within you to heal yourself and wash away those hurts. You eventually can direct that love from within to forgive those who have hurt you.
 
3.  You stop waiting for certain conditions to be met and more fully cherish the present moment. 

You recognize that life can be fulfilling now, not just when you get or are the perfect _________ (fill in the blank). You stop waiting and start being present and enjoying life more fully.

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Life provides opportunities for us to experience ourselves – to see what is within the folds of our brain, layers of our heart, and depth of our soul. Have peace and security in knowing that and that life is not about proving yourself. You’re already at your final destination. Now do what you need to do in order to enjoy the view. Namaste. =)
 

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Our growth and evolution includes a process of relinquishing antiquated ideas of earning love and acceptance. It often helps to have some guidance and a safe space during this shedding process. If you're interested in allowing me to provide you with such a space, please email me at sera@serahwang.com.

Free yourself from labels

2017 is a year of action / movement / manifestation. That shifting may feel uncomfortable - but I encourage us all to embrace that discomfort as part of the growth process. While 2016 was a year of contemplation, during which many of us wondered when things would happen, this year is one of great movement and shifting, so buckle up!

One huge shift we can explore is from within. How do we define ourselves, others, and our world in general? Moreover, how does it feel to free yourself from definitions and labels? Perhaps slightly terrifying but also exhilarating? The Universe is supporting you to explore the boundaries of your world - including if those boundaries are real or just an illusion that prevents you from progressing forward. Choose to explore more in this adventure called life! =) 

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I recently moved back to the NYC-NJ area. As I reflected on how much I have changed since I last lived in the area, I began asking myself – Who am I? How do I define myself? 
 
I then sensed the message below that I’d love to share with you:
 
You do not need to define yourself. When you do, you confine yourself within the limits of that definition. You are more than your age, body size, bank account, education, job, familial role, possessions, etc. By trying to define yourself, you are limiting your life perspective and the breadth of possibilities you can envision and manifest in your life.
 
Free yourself from labels. Rather, know that you are already loved and accepted – as the desire to define yourself stems from the desire to fit in and to be loved and accepted.
 
Readjust your life view. You no longer need to play by what you think are society’s rules. You can carve your own path for yourself and find love and acceptance right where you are, right now. You no longer need to search for what has always been a part of you and is readily available to you.
 
When I wondered how I could relate to people when I do not know how they fit into my world, I sensed the following message:
 
Now is not the time to divide – but instead is the time to celebrate one another’s uniqueness, genuineness, and authenticity. We can unite by celebrating our collective freedom and consciousness, especially as many of us are beginning to let go of labels / definitions.
 
In addition, we often feel the need to define our feelings, however, we do not need to do so. We can have self-awareness of our feelings and then practice letting go of our need to label / define our feelings, ourselves, situations, and/or other people as good or bad, right or wrong. 
 
I sensed reassurance in letting go of the need to define and/or label things in our lives:
 
Essentially, definitions and labels are useful to understand something more quickly. But many of us have used them to shape / limit our vision of life itself. We, essentially, have lost perspective by viewing definitions / labels as not just a guide or a means to an end but as the end all, be all. 
 
In letting go of the need to define and label, you are readjusting your life view, which may feel awkward at first. It may feel like the world is upside down, inside out. You may have ups and downs, some days in which the transition will feel easier than others. But that is normal – keep on the path to liberation and fulfillment. You soon will feel yourself soaring!

Prototyping Your Life

In a WSJ article, “Design Your Way to a Happier Life,” Dave Evans and Bill Burnett wrote, “If you don’t know what your passion is, that’s great news. Because you don’t have to know ‘what to do with your life’—you only have to do what’s next. Be curious. Try stuff. Think like a designer and build your future, prototype by prototype.”
 
Let’s face it, most of us love seeing a clear pathway forward in our lives. We find security and confidence in mapping out our life path. It makes sense. We don’t want to fall off a steep cliff accidentally. We want to see ourselves progressing forward, to loftier elevations. We want to see how our hard work will pay off.
 
But we need to keep in mind that we are constantly evolving, whether or not we do this consciously. We are constantly changing and are a different person than who we were just a moment before. Thus, rather than seeing ourselves as static players along an also static pathway called life, why not shift our perspective to see ourselves as prototyping our lives? Below are three benefits of doing so.
 
(1) Change is assumed, not resisted - This concept of prototyping life is so powerful, as it already incorporates the assumption that change will happen and different versions can be tried; change is inherent, a natural part of the process, and does not make us “losers” or “failures.” It’s about not taking ourselves so seriously as we are in the exploratory stage in our life (which hopefully will last throughout our entire life). We can see what works for us and what doesn’t, and adjust accordingly, in real-time to utilize the most up-to-date information available.
 
(2) Individualized approach to life design incorporates your own unique specifications - Many of us have a certain idea of success and how our lives are supposed to be. We may even buy into the hoopla that, “we should be doing this” at this point of our lives, and if we’re not, we’re making a huge mistake that we will regret.
 
But if you notice, we are all so different. We each have unique gifts and talents and provide a distinctive purpose for being here on Earth. Thus, why would everyone follow the same pathway? That doesn’t make sense.
 
Once we begin to embrace prototyping our lives, we become more honest about what works and what doesn’t. We focus on progressing forward and are not tied to a static ideal or map for life. We see what is working for us in the moment and what isn’t. We follow our intuition on what is right for us personally rather than a generic plan that is supposed to ensure we are “successful in life.” (Staying steadfast to a certain pre-determined path or plan might appear to provide us security, but that security is just an illusion.)
 
(3) Recognition that change can be minor yet significant - Lastly, many of us expect that if we begin to prototype our lives, our lives will be turned upside down, inside out, and completely different from as we know it. Well, while your life may feel completely different to YOU, it may appear the same on the surface. For example, perhaps in prototyping your life, you begin to make small changes in how you interact with loved ones – thereby shifting your dynamic from awkward and resentful to loving and a source of comfort and joy - though you engage in the same activities as before.
 
Note, small steps – that may require us to delve deep within ourselves to take – make a big difference. A gentle touch, greeting your loved one at the door to say hello, allowing a slight to pass, or respectfully communicating your hurt to a loved one – all those small steps can change your life tremendously.
 
I hope that in you seeing your life as a prototype that you are improving, you can become more comfortable with change and continue to optimize based on you and your desires, not those of another designer.

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If you would like to work with me in exploring how you can be the designer of your life and prototype it, please email me at info@serahwang.com. I would love to provide you with a space of light and love as you take this courage step forward! 

Rising Above Fear

"[T]he only thing we have to fear is fear itself." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

All of us have experienced fear during our lifetime. While fear is a common human emotion, we do not all react / interact with fear in the same way. Below are some points to help you rise above fear.

1. Understand what fear is and what it is notFear is your personal reaction to a situation, as others may react to that situation differently. For example, some may be fearful of a barking dog while others may feel comfort as they are reminded of fond memories of their own pet; a “barking dog” in and of itself does not necessarily evoke fear in everyone.

What your fear does do is provide insight into what is going on within you, signaling to you things within yourself (including your perception of the situation). We tend to focus singularly on whatever we are reacting to rather than taking time to self-reflect.

Fear, along with other emotions, however, provides us the opportunity to explore our underlying assumptions, beliefs, and experiences – of which we may not have been fully aware, to understand better what is going on within us.

2. How to interact with fearA common reaction to fear is to allow it to overcome and subsume us. We often feel powerless in face of a fearful situation, and therefore, believe that our only choice in the matter is to be paralyzed with fear and/or to disengage. We withdraw rather than connect to our fear, as if sweeping the fear under the rug will have it go away or that the fear we feel is something outside of ourselves, to which we can then turn a blind-eye.

But we must remember that – as stated above, fear has a purpose. It is a signal for you to explore what you may need to resolve within yourself and/or if you should take action. When you understand the purpose of fear in your life, you will feel freer first to (1) acknowledge your fear, (2) explore why you are feeling the fear – including if you are called to take action, and (3) then letting go of the fear after it has served its purpose.

Note, we often cannot control our thoughts and feelings but what we can do is allow them to flow through us. Recognize that our thoughts and feelings, including fear, are not a part of us and we do not need to grasp onto them as truth or permanent; this grasping causes a blockage within our system and results in us feeling more stuck as more similar thoughts and feelings get clogged within us.

3. Take care of yourself - Practice grounding and meditating to release your fears, in conjunction with exploring what the fear signals about yourself (including if you should take action). Rather than focusing on the negative, I encourage you to focus on what action steps you may wish to take stemming from self-reflection and also focus on the positive outcomes for which you wish rather than on those which you fear.

As with everything in life, focus on what you want and not on what you do not want, as you are most powerful when you are devoting your energy towards your aims / goals. Moreover, engage in self-care; be patient and understanding with yourself, especially when you feel overwhelmed with emotions, including fear.

Cultivating our Inner Compass

Many of us may be confused about where we are headed. We may ask ourselves:  What is our purpose in this lifetime? Why are we here? What should we be doing? While I provide guidance on these questions during healing sessions, my greatest passion is for all of us to know that we have an inner compass we can turn to on a daily basis for guidance, and to cultivate and cherish this inner compass of ours.
 
You may be wondering, what is an inner compass? Our inner compass is the sense of knowing we have within ourselves, even if we cannot rationalize or justify that feeling. It is our connecting with ourselves, to the deeper parts of our heart and soul beyond the constant stream of thoughts, feelings, and emotions that, at times, overwhelm us. It is the calm underneath all that, which is often unseen and unrecognized. Those who have a strong inner compass can stand strong in their values, convictions, and decisions, regardless of any criticism or doubt (including self-doubt) that they may face. They have a strong sense of self.
 
The key about an inner compass is that it springs forth from within you. When you remove all the junk that is clogging your line of communication with yourself (and the Divine within you), you connect with your inner compass more directly.
 
For example, we can cultivate our inner compass by connecting with our heart more deeply. In doing so, we learn what we really want and desire in life. This requires us, however, to wade through the parts of our hearts that feel pain deeply and may even have shut down temporarily due to the intensity of the pain - and then to reawaken these sleeping parts. This reawakening may require us to feel that lingering pain once again as it resurfaces and then is released. (As this can be intense, I am here if you wish to work with me through this process.)

It may include forgiving those who have cut into the core of our heart and forgiving yourself for allowing that to happen to you. Note, forgiving is not the same as being complacent and accepting ongoing abuse or hurt. It’s about letting go of the heaviness and easing the hold that the pain still has on you and in your life, even years after what had caused the pain occurred.
 
It may feel frightening to look at what rage may appear as you explore the deep crevasses of your heart. Perhaps you may feel like an ingrate and a horrible person because you sense you have resentment and hatred for those whom you love the most in the world, so you shy away from exploring that area of your heart. The inner compass, however, needs all its pieces to be well-calibrated to work properly, so you need to clear that area out eventually, when you are ready. Even in sensing how you may feel, you are making great strides in recalibrating your inner compass.
 
In exploring what is going on with you internally, you will begin to feel your inner truth – essentially, what resonates with you, what feels good, and what does not feel so great. You can more easily let go of opinions about what you need to be doing in order to be accepted and loved – as you begin relying on your inner compass for your sense of self, love, and acceptance, and not the external world. In shifting your center / base to within, you will naturally emanate outwardly the love and acceptance you connect with from within and, as a positive side-effect, spread your light to others, including your loved ones. Keep this in mind if you feel guilt in exploring anger and other toxic feelings towards loved ones during the calibration process - as eventually you will be able to love them more freely as you let go of your pain.
 
You will begin to sense as you connect more deeply with your inner compass, that your life purpose is not so much how you are defined within society but about how happy and connected you are with yourself. Thus, deepen your connection with yourself as you cultivate, cherish, and gain guidance from your inner compass. Then you will be able to answer the following questions more confidently in the affirmative:  Am I aligned internally? Do I feel self-empowered? Even if I don’t know the exact path ahead, can I at least sense the next step ahead of me? Can I take that step confidentially and securely? Remember, the path to your desires / goals / destinations are made up, collectively, of many steps. Take it one step at a time.

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If you would like to work with me in exploring what is within the deep crevasses of your heart and to clear out anything toxic, including lingering pain and hurts, please email me (info@serahwang.com). I would love to provide you with a space of light and love as you take this courage step forward! 

The Awkward Stage

These past few months have been rough for many of us. We are in the awkward stage of growing, changing, and shifting, and may feel like gangling teenagers, trying to adjust gracefully to our new selves. If you are feeling this way, know that you are not alone and that this change is positive, though at times, it may feel like you’re going backwards.
 
You may notice that a lot of “gunk” has come up from the past – things that you felt you had already dealt with and let go. But know that if this has happened, it’s just a gentle nudge from the universe that you may have missed a spot. Be gentle and forgiving with yourself, as that’s fine. No worries. Just address the situation or issue now.
 
In our society, while we are encouraged to clean our physical bodies on a daily basis, we are not taught to embrace the process of cleansing and purging ourselves on the spiritual, mental, and emotional levels, on a regular basis. What many of us currently are going through now is a spiritual cleansing of sorts.
 
Debra Katz, in her book, You are Psychic, states the importance of the cycle of creating and destroying. While we are great at creating many things, we often forget to purge or release those things that we no longer want or need. She states, “The truth is, many times (but not all) you won’t create what you ultimately crave in your heart until you make a leap of faith and destroy what is no longer serving you so that something that will serve you can move in.”
 
This all relates to our identity – as many of us are shedding thoughts and beliefs that used to be a critical part of our identity. My message today is:  Yes, it may feel scary as we shed things we have tightly held onto for so long but know that there is an amazing beacon of abundant love within you already that you are learning to tap into fully. While we may be so used to turning outwardly to find acceptance, worthiness, and love, the "New You" will become familiar with this inner beacon of acceptance, worthiness, and love.
 
Right now, it may feel like your security blanket or road map for life was taken away from you, abruptly. We may feel unable to lean back on our identity to define us. But be assured that you are getting a new, improved YOU. One that is strong from within and enjoys love and acceptance that cannot be taken away. 
 
A lot of what is being purged right now are those thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that have reinforced the previous status quo, that convinced you that you are not enough and that you need to prove yourself to get unconditional love and acceptance. I hope that in seeing the light at the end of the tunnel or, put another way, the purpose of this process, you will gain joy in the now, as this growth is happening.

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If you want support and guidance during this process of shedding that which you do not need and of connecting on a deeper level with your beacon of love and acceptance, please email me (info@serahwang.com). I would be honored to work with you. =)

"Who am I?"

Have you ever asked yourself this question?
 
We are taught at an early age to sort things into categories; thus, many of us may wonder what categories we belong in. Initially, it may feel comforting and easy to fit ourselves into a neat little package – defined by our job, religion, race, gender, family, relationship status, children, financial status, etc. But that comfort can morph into unease.
 
Many of us are sensing that we are more than these categories. We are not just the sum of our experiences, resume, Facebook status, or net worth, etc. We are beautiful, complex human beings who cannot be limited to a “neat little package.”
 
We are all part of the "category" human race, and each of us is uniquely awesome.
 
I encourage us all to continue letting go of the need to define ourselves. You will be OK. You are part of the Divine – directly a part of and connected to God. You have a well of inner wisdom and joy that you can tap into more deeply as you step out of that neat, little package and spread out your wings. You may feel disoriented, even unhinged, in the beginning but as you progress, a feeling of liberation and joy will become the new norm. You will look back at this time wondering how you were able to live any other way than in complete bliss and liberation…

In the following newsletters, I will continue to delve into this topic of identity. Stay tuned! I send you much love and light! =)

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If you want support and guidance during this process of shedding the need to define yourself and of connecting on a deeper level with your inner wisdom, please email me (info@serahwang.com). I would be happy to provide a loving, supportive environment for you to do so. =) 

Purposeful Discomfort

In the 1980s, there was an experiment to create the perfect human living environment within a Bio-Dome in the desert. The Bio-Dome contained purified air, purified water, filtered light, plants, and animals. Everything was well except, once trees grew to a certain height, they toppled over.

The scientists finally realized that the trees fell due to lack of wind in the Bio-Dome. Wind strengthens trees by blowing against them. In response to wind, trees bend, sway, and strengthen and deepen their root systems; this strengthening in turn supports the trees as they grow taller.
 
Discomfort is part of the growth process

Many of us shy away from anything that makes us uncomfortable. Yes, discomfort sometimes alerts us to a dangerous situation – such as taking our hand off a sizzling hot stove. But at other times, discomfort has a purpose in our growth and development that we can embrace. We often feel discomfort when faced with change and transformation; you can find comfort in this. =) 

That being said, I encourage us to use our discernment in understanding the root cause of our discomfort and whether or not this discomfort is actually part of the acceleration of our growth and development.

Right now, many of us are undergoing a process in which we are examining our current values, beliefs, and perspectives on life, including all the underlying assumptions in all that. This may feel incredibly disconcerting, uncomfortable, and even downright painful at times. Know that you are not your values, beliefs, and perspectives – so whatever you are questioning or letting go of right now is not a part of the essential you, the “you” that is deeper than the labels, roles, and stereotypes placed upon you. That “you” is already fully connected to God and worthy of all love, joy, and peace of mind that you desire.

Adapt, Grow, and Enjoy!
 
Moreover, many of us currently are at the stage where we are feel like trees swaying with the wind blowing against us. Though we may not be certain that our tree roots are strong enough to withstand the wind, know that the wind is actually helping our growth and that we are strong enough. Have faith that this discomfort is not for naught, especially if you make that your intention and consciously grow your roots deeper and stronger.

Here is a picture of a tree that is teaching us a lesson - that we can always choose to adapt and continue to grow. This tree sprouted right back up, aimed straight to the sky, even after its trunk became bent, aimed straight to the ground. Thus, rest assured that you too can choose to make difficult times, including when you feel discomfort, an opportunity for growth. (This picture is of me at Eno State Park, in Durham, NC.)

Moreover, along your life journey, I encourage you to enjoy listening to the rustle of the leaves and swaying happily with the wind. Soon, you will grow taller, supported by the work you are doing now.

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That being said, if you’re interested in accelerating your growth and development in a loving, supportive environment, please contact me (sera@serahwang.com). I would love to have a session with you, to help you explore your values, beliefs, and perspectives and provide additional clarity for you during this transformative time.

Moreover, I am hosting 3 workshops this Saturday at the Dancing Moon in Raleigh, to provide tools for people to increase clarity in their lives. Please click here for more information and to take advantage of the early bird special.

I send you much love and light! =)

Illusions never change into something real

Since I was a little kid, I have heard and then believed that the path to a good life was to:  (1) first, get top grades, (2) then, gain acceptance into a top college, and (3) finally, land a high paying job. I was thrilled after reaching all three milestones on that path, which culminated with a job offer in investment banking (finance).

But I realized that I was not passionate about the job and only wanted it because it was on that designated pathway to a good life. Moreover, after I got the job offer, my life did not change and everything did not get better. I didn’t magically metamorphosize from an insecure girl with unresolved issues and repressed anger, into a beautiful goddess of fabulousness. I felt like the same “me,” whatever that meant.

This all reminded me of the line in Natalie Imbruglia’s song, “Torn” - “Illusion never changed into something real.”

(In case you're curious, instead of taking the investment banking job, I took a year off to apply to law school - as my dream had always been to be a litigation lawyer. During that year, I also waitressed at a bar/grill and worked at the Salvation Army.)
 
1.  Illusions
 
We all hold onto illusions (or, put another way, expectations) of what will make us happy or magically “fix” us – be it having a certain job or resume, having a significant other, being a parent, having a parent that provides us unconditional love and acceptance, or acquiring a certain amount of money.

While these things can bring us great joy, we often overestimate how much and tend to focus on these things as a way to distract ourselves from facing and clearing our own junk that’s really blocking us from feeling fulfilled. Sometimes it’s easier to fixate on the illusions and why they aren’t becoming “something real” than face the clutter within ourselves. (Painful clutter, like, why am I not good enough or lovable? But don't worry; you can throw all that clutter away so it's no longer painful to you or blocking you from greater joy.)
 
2.  Real fulfillment
 
Real fulfillment – the one that satisfies every thirst and provides unconditional love – only comes from within, when we connect with our spiritual self (or put another way, our Higher Self). Within each of us, we have a spiritual self that is connected to God (which some may call the divine, the Universe, or the Source).
 
When you connect with that part of yourself, you feel incredible peace, joy, and love. You can let go of the need to prove yourself and be good enough, as you realize that you are already enough and perfect as you are. You begin to accept and love yourself fully.

You can train yourself to connect with your spiritual self via strategies such as meditation and grounding. You also connect with your spiritual self when you are fully connected with your heart – which may be when you are laughing hysterically with good friends, lovingly looking into the eyes of a loved one, or mesmerized by a beautiful hike, for example.
 
3. Connect with your heart
 
You also can connect to your heart and thus your spiritual self by finding what makes you happy and seeking that out. Even if that previously may have been an illusion, that illusion takes on a new meaning when you change your perspective on what you believe it will do in your life.

For example, I previously held the illusion that my husband should fulfill my every need and if he didn’t, I was disappointed. After I let go of that illusion, I was able to follow my bliss and be free to appreciate when he provides me with love and support, including in ways that surpass my previous expectations. =)

I also feel powerful in recognizing that I – and no one else – am the captain of my life. I am aware not to give my power away to my illusions nor expect them to fulfill me, as I now know a source of eternal fulfillment that is within myself. No one and no thing can take that away from me now. And now that you have read this, you all know this "secret" as well. =)

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I send you much love and light! =)

If you’re interested in obtaining guidance on how to release your illusions and connect with your heart more deeply, please email me at sera.hwang@serahwang.com. I would be happy to provide a loving and supportive environment for you to do so and also, now is a good time clear! =)

Freedom from negative self-talk

Hands down, the best effect of developing my spiritual practice has been increased freedom from my negative self-talk.

1. What is negative self-talk? 

We all have “self-talk,” which includes our thoughts and accompanying feelings and emotions. I have heard self-talk referred to as mind chatter, the mind, thinking / thoughts, and inner monologue. (If you are thinking, “I don’t have self-talk,” that is self-talk.)

Negative self-talk” is self-talk that does not serve any worthwhile purpose and, in addition, makes you feel bad about yourself. For example, with our negative self-talk, we may allow fear of change to prevent us from pursuing what we truly desire; replay the same old, sad story over and over again in our heads without actually moving forward and healing; and rarely feel centered as we flip back and forth between emotional highs and lows, all while feeling like a huge loser.

You may wonder, “Well, what about the gray areas, such as worry? Is my worry a signal from my intuition that something is wrong or rather, related to my fear of change, no matter what potential upside?” Some of us try to rationalize or argue with our negative self-talk to find the answer to that question. But our self-talk is not always reasonable nor rationale. Thus, instead of spinning ourselves into a tizzy to figure out our self-talk, I encourage us to pivot to focus on something else. That could be on focusing on your breath, which connects you to the higher intelligence within yourself, or on something positive.

(Not to forget the original question, to help you distinguish between pointless chatter and your gut feeling, tune into your body and see if you sense any messages on the topic of your self-talk; in addition, a meditation practice helps you build up your ability to distinguish intuition from mindless chatter.)

2. We are more than our self-talk

We are much more than our self-talk. We often feel like we need to react to our self-talk or else we are not listening to ourselves or that we have no choice but to do so. For example, I used to believe that if I thought that something scared me, I was fearful already. I believed that I lacked control to disengage from that fear because it was a part of me, as much a part of me as my right hand, and that disengaging from the fear would be as painful as chopping off my right hand. But I was wrong - we can disengage fairly easily.

While negative self-talk can be used as a tool to increase our awareness of ourselves, we tend to go overboard and allow it to hold power over us. The simple yet powerful truth is that we are able to stop identifying with our self-talk, especially that which does not serve any worthwhile purpose and instead is just dragging us down. The next section provides some tips on how to do so. 

Moreover, there is something much deeper within us that can provide us with the fulfillment and acceptance that we often seek in our self-talk. Some call it a higher intelligence, our connection with God or the Universe or Source, your Higher Self, your intuition, or your essential self. Regardless of your name for it, it’s the part of you that regulates your breathing at every moment, without you consciously doing so, and the peace you feel when you first wake up in the morning, when your head is clear and spirits high. (In this newsletter, I have included a breathing exercise to help you connect to this part of yourself; enjoy!)

3. Tips on how to increase your freedom from your negative self-talk   

Below are additional tips on how to increase your freedom from your self-talk.

     a. Politely invite your self-talk to go ahead – Instead of engaging (including rebuking) your self-talk, acknowledge it. Then imagine yourself holding a door open and inviting the self-talk to walk through the door first. This helps you see yourself as separate from the self-talk and not fight it (which would give the self-talk more power / energy), and thus, the self-talk loses its power over you. (Insights are from Michael A. Stringer’s book, “The Untethered Soul.”)

     b. Redirect your attention – As stated above, redirect your attention to focus on the positive of a situation, even if it’s something small, or on your breath.      

     c. Ground yourself – Connect to the Earth every day and release to it any self-talk that you no longer wish to hold onto. (Click here for my guided grounding meditation.)      
     d. Be playful with your self-talk – We often have the misconception that the way we see past situations replayed in our heads is how they actually happened, so we cannot modify them. That, however, is not true; even in replaying the stories, we add our own subsequent reactions / emotions to it (in most cases for me, cue in the self-pity). That being said, be playful with these replays, for example, run the stories backwards, add humor by giving people different accents or having them speak in pig Latin, etc. This helps you disassociate from the stories and let go of any heavy emotions attached to them.      

     e. Shift your perspective - You also can focus on different aspects of a situation in which you have negative self-talk, to gain additional perspectives. Zoom in and out of the picture in your mind, focus on others – not just yourself, and explore your assumptions underlying the picture in your mind. (Click here to check out my previous blog re: perspectives.)      
     
     f. Breaking agreements – Use the protocol of breaking agreements to explore and let go of your underlying beliefs, typically acquired by observing your parents during your childhood, that underlie all you do and may be holding you back. (I’ll cover this during my October 1, event at the Dancing Moon in Raleigh; please join!).  

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Though we typically see negative self-talk as “negative,” it has the purpose of signaling to us areas that need healing. It is always powerful to explore these areas in a space of healing and support. If you’re interested, I would love to collaborate with you on your journey of self-development and provide this space for you. Please let me know as it would be my honor.