Since I was a little kid, I have heard and then believed that the path to a good life was to: (1) first, get top grades, (2) then, gain acceptance into a top college, and (3) finally, land a high paying job. I was thrilled after reaching all three milestones on that path, which culminated with a job offer in investment banking (finance).
But I realized that I was not passionate about the job and only wanted it because it was on that designated pathway to a good life. Moreover, after I got the job offer, my life did not change and everything did not get better. I didn’t magically metamorphosize from an insecure girl with unresolved issues and repressed anger, into a beautiful goddess of fabulousness. I felt like the same “me,” whatever that meant.
This all reminded me of the line in Natalie Imbruglia’s song, “Torn” - “Illusion never changed into something real.”
(In case you're curious, instead of taking the investment banking job, I took a year off to apply to law school - as my dream had always been to be a litigation lawyer. During that year, I also waitressed at a bar/grill and worked at the Salvation Army.)
We all hold onto illusions (or, put another way, expectations) of what will make us happy or magically “fix” us – be it having a certain job or resume, having a significant other, being a parent, having a parent that provides us unconditional love and acceptance, or acquiring a certain amount of money.
While these things can bring us great joy, we often overestimate how much and tend to focus on these things as a way to distract ourselves from facing and clearing our own junk that’s really blocking us from feeling fulfilled. Sometimes it’s easier to fixate on the illusions and why they aren’t becoming “something real” than face the clutter within ourselves. (Painful clutter, like, why am I not good enough or lovable? But don't worry; you can throw all that clutter away so it's no longer painful to you or blocking you from greater joy.)
2. Real fulfillment
Real fulfillment – the one that satisfies every thirst and provides unconditional love – only comes from within, when we connect with our spiritual self (or put another way, our Higher Self). Within each of us, we have a spiritual self that is connected to God (which some may call the divine, the Universe, or the Source).
When you connect with that part of yourself, you feel incredible peace, joy, and love. You can let go of the need to prove yourself and be good enough, as you realize that you are already enough and perfect as you are. You begin to accept and love yourself fully.
You can train yourself to connect with your spiritual self via strategies such as meditation and grounding. You also connect with your spiritual self when you are fully connected with your heart – which may be when you are laughing hysterically with good friends, lovingly looking into the eyes of a loved one, or mesmerized by a beautiful hike, for example.
3. Connect with your heart
You also can connect to your heart and thus your spiritual self by finding what makes you happy and seeking that out. Even if that previously may have been an illusion, that illusion takes on a new meaning when you change your perspective on what you believe it will do in your life.
For example, I previously held the illusion that my husband should fulfill my every need and if he didn’t, I was disappointed. After I let go of that illusion, I was able to follow my bliss and be free to appreciate when he provides me with love and support, including in ways that surpass my previous expectations. =)
I also feel powerful in recognizing that I – and no one else – am the captain of my life. I am aware not to give my power away to my illusions nor expect them to fulfill me, as I now know a source of eternal fulfillment that is within myself. No one and no thing can take that away from me now. And now that you have read this, you all know this "secret" as well. =)
I send you much love and light! =)
If you’re interested in obtaining guidance on how to release your illusions and connect with your heart more deeply, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I would be happy to provide a loving and supportive environment for you to do so and also, now is a good time clear! =)